Healing....

Recently, I have been thinking about the relationship between the oppressed and the oppressor.

Since the beginning of time, from our earliest memories as a human family of some sort, there has always been those who have oppressed others and those who have been oppressed. In this never-ending story, the "Oppressor" inflicts inconceivable suffering, pain, and hurt onto the "Oppressed." The "Oppressed" suffers from grave injustice, abuse, and craves justice. Traumas of this experience leave a deep rooted mark-- a tattoo inked on the soul of the oppressed and become a constitutive aspect of their identities that can never be forgotten. The experience of oppression and exploitation quickly gives way to grievances and a deep sense of victimization. Feelings of frustration, anger, revenge, and retaliation becomes the colors of this tattoo. Often asking how anyone can be so cruel and heartless, and how such evil is even possible, they search for justice, end to their suffering, promising 'never again!!"

But, sadly, more often than not, promising 'never' again means 'never again to us!' Over and over again, we see that those who were once oppressed and victimized become the cruelest and most vicious of all the oppressors when they are able to break their bondages from their oppressors. They inflict similar, if not more suffering, injustice and hurt. I often wondered how this was possible. I thought those who suffered the most would understand how hurtful and painful that is and will avoid becoming their oppressor themselves.

But irrespective of time, geography, religion, ethnicity, or race, we see that often it is the exact opposite. The victims become the victimizers as the sense of victimization, ingrained into our identity creates the illusion that, because once we were victims, we are now morally justified and that they can not do any wrong.... Questioning the collective identity, and those who claim to defend and represent this identity becomes a taboo. The world is divided into two black and white: one that is ours, which is eternally good, pure and moral, and that of others --who will never understand us and they are not one of us, therefore they cannot be as moral, as righteous and as good, therefore they cannot judge us!!!! We believe our suffering makes us immune to making any mistakes or immoral.

Unconsciously, the abusive dynamic is often blamed on feelings of weakness and powerlessness. The oppressor is viewed as the ultimate holder of power and its tools, such as violence, injustice, hurting, killing, injuring or torturing, as the tools of power. To be powerful is then, perhaps interpreted as having the ability to inflict the suffering on others. So, if we want not to be victims ever again, then we must be strong and powerful!!! What are the signs of power? ability to use violence, inflict suffering and hurt others. Justice, compassion, caring are associated with weakness and the victim. Those who are powerful must be tough and stern, not soft and tender?!!! And because we were once the victim, we cannot be judged, criticized. We are always right!!!!!!!

So the Cycle of hatred and revenge begins. Breaking this cycle and completing the journey of healing is so much harder collectively than individually.... However, we will destroy our world and ourselves very soon unless we can break free from it....